Friday, January 8, 2010

Freedom From Yourself First

All people who compulsively drink, use drugs, or engage in dangerous activities do so to obtain some relief from the continuous background fear, lack, or emptiness that is a direct result of life as a thought-based identity (the ego).

An egoic identity is a false one because it is based on thought instead of consciousness, our natural state of mind. The egoic personality requires constant compulsive thinking to sustain itself.

Any life based on compulsive thinking will be dysfunctional and unmanageable. Such a life is characterized by recurring feelings of emptiness, lack, and fear. People often describe this condition as having “a hole inside me that can never be filled.”

As Eckhart Tolle puts it:

"When the thought forms of 'me' and 'mine', of 'more than,' of 'I want,' 'I need,' 'I must have,' and of 'not enough' operate, no possession, place, person, or condition will ever satisfy you. No content will satisfy you as long as your egoic identity remains in place. No matter what you have or get, you won't be happy. You will always be looking for something else that promises greater fulfillment, that promises to make your incomplete sense of self complete and fill that sense of lack you feel within. "

"The ego always wants something from other people or situations. There is always a hidden agenda, always a of "not enough yet," of insufficiency and lack that needs to be filled. It uses people and situations to get what it wants, and even when it succeeds it is never satisfied for long. Often it is thwarted in its aims, and for the most part the gap between "I want" and "what is" becomes a constant source of upset and anguish."


"The underlying emotion that governs all of the activity of the ego is fear. The fear of being nobody, the fear of nonexistence, the fear of death. All its activities are ultimately designed to eliminate this fear but the most the ego can ever do is to cover it up temporarily with an intimate relationship, a new possession, or winning at this or that. Illusion will never satisfy you. Only the truth of who you are, if realized, will set you free."

The fact that almost everyone suffers from this condition makes it seem normal and allows it to go unquestioned.

Consuming drugs or alcohol or obtaining things in order to relieve this unhappy condition may bring temporary relief, but the activity must be continuously repeated. This sometimes leads to addiction.

Substance addiction is a direct result of compulsive thinking, which is itself an addiction. That's why any solution to the addiction problem must focus on the underlying thinking addiction. The “compulsion to use,” not the substance itself, is the cunning, powerful, and baffling engine that drives addiction.

This blog applies the insights concerning the true nature of thinking, as presented by Eckhart Tolle in his books The Power of Now and A New Earth, to the 12-step program as presented in the "Big Book" of Alcoholics Anonymous.

I think Tolle’s work sheds new light on the underlying forces of addiction. This understanding points the way toward new approaches to gaining relief--and new ways to prevent addiction from taking hold in the first place.

The 12-step program of Alcoholics Anonymous has brought about a spiritual renaissance in many individuals--myself included--leading them to a happy, joyous, and free existence. But many more alcoholics and other addicts have turned away from this solution because it is veiled in mystery and language that is sometimes obscure or religious.

Tolle's work has unraveled for me the 75-year-old mystery of how and why the 12-step program really works.  I believe an accurate and clear description of the 12-step process and its results can only broaden the acceptance and increase the effectiveness of the 12-step program.

10 comments:

  1. Yes, your insight into the value correlating ET phenomenal work with the thinking of AA founders 75 years ago is very interesting to me. I also believe there is a connection for me. I had not gotten as far with the correlation as you have. Thanks so much for doing that!! Keep it up. Doris D

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  2. I'm pleased to have found this blog, and I'm very interested to see how it grows. I recently went to an AA meeting completely and totally unaware of its basic approach, philisophy, concept or structure. I was encouraged to attend a "step meeting" which was probably not a good first meeting for me to attend, because I had NO idea what anyone was talking about.

    I was immediately "turned off", for lack of a better term, to what I felt was a very heavy emphasis on religion. I've spent most of my life staying clear of what I have considered "organized religion", and though I'm not accusing AA of this by any stretch of the imagination, I didn't appreciate that I was expected to hold hands with others and recite the Lord's prayer and then to be reassured immediately afterward that this has "nothing to do with religion..."

    I understand what they were trying to say and do, but I didn't feel comfortable at all, and I think this is unfortunate, but it happened. I was also a bit ambushed in that everyone wanted to give me their phone numbers and a couple asked for mine. But I refused because I worried that they would try to pressure me into joining, talking, etc., and though I'm fairly confident they could've never succeeded because I'm pretty strong-hearted and minded in that I'm able to resist peer pressure, I didn't want to put myself through that.

    Nonetheless, I did buy the "Big Book" and I'm glad I did, as I've been enjoying reading it. As I've been reading it, I've been wondering if I might be able to incorporate my acceptance and support of spiritual leaders such as Eckhart Tolle, who has great meaning in my life. So on a whim, I Googled Eckhart and "12 Steps" and this site popped up.

    I'm a bit of a loner, so I don't like group activities, and I certainly don't like anyone trying to push their opinions and beliefs on me. When I'm encountered by such people, I've learned through people like Tolle to truly listen and be present with them and what they're saying, which is what I did during this AA meeting, but I also knew I had to walk away. I saw a red flag (for me... I'm not suggesting others would feel the same way, but for me personally, I knew in my gut it wasn't for me) and this is where I am.

    I have no problem admitting I'm an alcoholic, I've known for a very long time; but it hasn't been until very, very recently that I realized that it's on the verge of consuming my life, I'm now on the cusp of "out of control". It also wasn't until recently that I admitted it to my parents and a few of my friends. My husband has known for about 3 years. At first he disagreed, thinking I was overeacting, but in time, he came to accept it and he is extraordinarily supportive.

    I've read and I've heard first-person accounts from a variety of addicts that often you have to "hit rock bottom" in order to overcome the addition, become awakened however way you want to word it. I've not hit rock bottom... I'm in what I've heard termed as "top bottom," in that I haven't suffered a great loss, i.e. my family, my home, my job, gotten a DUI, etc.

    I've "gotten away" for many, many years, but I know the tragic period will come where I will lose everything maybe even my life if I don't stop this now, so again, here I am.

    So although this confessional writing format of blogging and following something on-line is very new to me, I'm looking forward to watching and possibly becoming a participant. I know the universe has brought me here.

    Michelle

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  3. Hey Ben =)

    Thanks for your blog, im very glad to see that other people in aa have found ET ´s teachings and been able to benefit from them in their life.
    I know i certainly have. In a way that working with the twelve step program dont come close to.

    I too see similarities in the teaching of our big book and ET, but i also see differences.

    One of these fundamental differencens is that according to ET there are " no steps to a spiritual awakening, altough the mind would love that ". In aa we are made to beleive the opposite, as you probably know...step 12 :" having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps ...etc ".

    For me, actually, ET´s teachings shows why the twelve step program rarely works ( as a program for so called spiritual awakening ) and why it takes so long time in those cases it does.

    My understanding of Tolle´s concept of " ego " is ; ego = identification with objects, wether these objects is your body, thoughts or emotions ocurring in that body or objects outside of that body.
    Awakening occurs when disidentification with above objects occur. This yield identification with what he calls " consciousness ". You become what he calls " presence ". You become awakened to your " true " self.

    In aa, people, at least as i understand it, still have a lot concepts ( thought objects ) about who they are, or, which is of a more hindrance for them to be able to have a so called spiritual awakening, concepts of how they should be.
    And this is unfortunately beeing held in a status qou for many by the thought called ; " i must live in the program ", so that their lives will become more managable by their ego´s getting " reduced ".

    Their ego´s is the same, it always is ( act of identifying with an object ), but now its a spiritual ego instead. They start to identify with another set of concepts ( thoughts ), spiritual concepts ( humility, honesty, trust and so on ).
    This make many of them more socially accepted, agreed, their lifes may become more manageble, but it has nothing to do with what ET´s trying to teach.

    The underlying fear, depression, sense of being separated doesnt go away for many aa members who is " living in the program ". Because they still is identified with their egos. You can actually hear this at meetings from members with 10 - 20 yrs of twelve step - recovery, if you listen closely.

    I dont want to put down the twelve step program or the aa community. It can certainly help with becoming free of the obsession to drink alcohol, making your life more managable. Thats why I for one still engage in leading meetings at my home group.

    I wanted to share this here because i see some fundamental diffrences between the twelve step program and the teachings of ET. Beleiving they are the same, or complimentary will only result in unnecessary confusion and become a obstacle of benefiting from either of them.

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  4. Hello,

    I was happy to come across this blog. I have been listening to Eckhart Tolle’s teachings for several years and I find great comfort in his words.

    I recently returned to Overeater’s Anonymous a few months ago, but I find myself fighting some core tenants; such as:
    - The acceptance of a conceptual identity (addict)
    - Accepting that you need to reach outside of yourself to be free.
    - What is meant by “I” and “you” in the writing of the big book of AA. It seems to me that Tolle speaks to us as we truly are, and the big book speaks to our egos(?)

    It gets confusing sometimes.

    I attend Big Book Step Study meetings both in OA and in AA. I have a sponsor and have begun writing my 4th step. The writing is work I want to continue, as it seems many people have experienced great relief from doing so.

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  5. Everyone has addictions, I think it's a kind of normality

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  7. I have never heard addiction described this way. I am an example of what you described and had no idea.
    I suffer from depression, OCD and social anxiety. My mommy and daddy truly didn't love me. I've been dealing with obsessions my entire life. I fixed them with a bottle until it became so destructive I could not continue. Thanks for the post.

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